Old People Talk

So when I ask friends what a story I always tell about the answer I received was actually surprising. It wasn't a little kid story or a something about my family. The answer I got was about me in recent terms and not in a bad way either. Sura calls them my toilet adventures. My favorite how he says toilet adventure, would be a day where I come home after eating Chinese or Taco Bell or something and had really, really bad gas. I was farting and they sounded pretty good, they also stunk really badly. But I always like to start this story with asking people “How many of you have ever pooped your pants but not had to change your underwear?” That always catches them off guard and they give me that what is wrong with this kid look. “It’s just a question” but anyway back to my story I had really bad gas, we were sitting at the kitchen table stinking it up pretty bad, something fierce actually. My grandmother can smoke all day long and it not bother her but it bothers me, I can fart all day long, doesn’t bother me but it definitely bothers her, gotta love karma. Anyway, she was complaining telling me I stunk and I did. So, I thought it’d be funny to try and fart on her. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have, well maybe I would have because this makes for a pretty good story. So I farted on her and as you would expect, I pooped my pants, she luckily didn’t realize I don’t know how but she didn’t. As I made a mad dash to the bathroom, when I get in the bathroom which it’s a good one, one of them where when you wipe your butt and you can feel the thick consistency, like you actually pooped on the toilet paper. So I realize I need more than toilet paper, so I holler for some baby wipes. I clean up and look at my underwear, they’re as clean as they were when I put them on that morning therefore, I don’t have to change them. How many people can say that?